


constants and variables;

by woahrebecca



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Role Swapping, Angst, F/M, M/M, Main Character Death but also not really, Slow Burn, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-12 22:10:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7951027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woahrebecca/pseuds/woahrebecca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Percival is, first and foremost, a man of science.</p>
<p>He tests and experiments and practices with what he has available to him, until he gets the creation he desires.</p>
<p>In this, his life - as well as all of Vox Machina's - is a grand experiment. Yet he is the only one who remembers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. experiment one - cause of failure; bond's not strong enough

 

> _This is the first time. This is the first iteration of their lives. This is the first experiment done by a child, just to see what would happen. This is the first draft, to be discarded and thrown away as the result of rewrites and plot changes and new ideas that hopefully will work better this time around._

 

Except, none of them know that.

 

To them, to the intrepid members of Vox Machina, this is their lives, the only one they have ever had and the only one they ever will have, the one chance they have at life - except for Pike, they don’t talk about her death and subsequent resurrection much, it was too close of a call, too close to home  - and the one chance to make a difference.

 

They’ve already done so much, in their brief existences in this world and the brief time they’ve spent together. They’ve killed beasts and halted an Illithid uprising and saved missing children - except for one, but like Pike’s death they don’t talk about that very much.

 

Yet through all of this, they barely really know each other.

 

There are so many secrets between them still, despite all they’ve been through, despite all the near death experiences they’ve shared they still do not fully trust each other. Grog looks at Vax sometimes with narrowed eyes as though he expects a blade to the back while he sleeps, and all of them - other than the twins - have a constant watchful eye on Percy and the contraptions he has built, on edge by the fact his creations are unknown to them.

 

They snap at each other sometimes, boundaries pushed too far when they didn’t mean to be pushed because they just don’t know where the boundaries are yet, everyone holding their cards close to their chests. Like when Vax made a comment about a stench and Grog one time and Grog tripped Vax instantly.

 

The tipping point, really, is when they - well, Tiberius really - kill the elderly lady fleeing from them. That is when Keyleth - who wants to be good _so bad_ , who just wants to help and learn and yes she can kill but she kills when she needs, she kills threats and not elderly ladies who are retreating - snaps. When she does, they swear they feel the ground beneath them rumble in silent fury.

 

She had screamed, had berated Tiberius and all of them with a matter-of-fact voice like a disappointed mother, and when they were called to the Sovereign the next day they knew she was right.

 

They helped, they talked their way through a situation to avoid bloodshed. They had become cows, and flown. Yet there was an odd tension in the air, something bubbling up under everyone's skin and coming up their throats, threatening to burst out and start something that would send them shattering into scattered shards. They got pardoned, faith restored in them so they headed to Whitestone for Percy and his vengeance.

 

* * *

 

 

In the end, they never really made it to Whitestone.

 

* * *

 

 

Pike - the one best at calming everyone because if Pike was there then it meant they had to be doing the right thing - was gone, restoring a temple of Sarenrae, unable to help them when they needed.

 

There was another argument as they had camped out of Whitestone, one snappy comment about the murder of the elderly lady came from Keyleth’s lips, uncharacteristically cold for the druid and Tiberius whipped around, spitting metaphorical fire and venom back at her about the child she had killed in the pocket dimension. They stood there, eye to eye opposite sides of the fire. Dragonborn and half elf stood there, staring daggers at each other almost as painful for everyone else as the daggers Vax could throw before Tiberius cast a teleportation circle spell and disappeared.

 

Keyleth left that night too, polymorphed herself into a giant eagle and flew away, heading back to her Ashari tribe they assumed, or maybe one of the ones that she hadn’t been to yet.

 

And as much time as they had spent together, it didn’t phase any of the remaining members as much as they’d expect it would.

 

When the twins and Percy woke the next morning, they woke to Grog sorting through the Bag of Holding, a pile on either side of his Goliath sized lap as he showed items to Scanlan who would tell him if it was the group's, or his to keep.

 

Grog gave a sad shrug when he saw the other three watching them. “I would love to stay but like, I really miss my buddy Pike,” he said, looking down and avoiding eye contact. “But like, I’m not taking all the stuff, Scanlan’s helping me sort what’s ours and what’s yours!”

 

“Ours?” Vax replied, disbelief plain to hear in his voice no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

 

“I’m going with Grog back to Vasselheim.” Scanlan paused, letting his words sink in before he continued, “Sorry Percy, we’d love to help you but, it’s too much for us to do. It was too much even for all of us. And now...” Scanlan trailed off, eyes flicking between the twins and Percy, “I don’t trust him to be able to get there by himself anyway.” he motioned towards Grog.

 

“Also it’s because Pike’s there.” Grog piped up from next to Scanlan, who merely smiled at them sheepishly.

 

The twins and Percy let out a small sigh, this was also to be expected really. There wasn’t anything tying Grog and Scanlan to the dangerous endeavour to Whitestone, Grog was so loyal to Pike, and Scanlan was just Scanlan. The pair of them left around noon, heading back in the direction from which they had come.

 

* * *

 

 

In this world, it was just Percy and Vax and Vex going against the Briarwoods. It was just the three of them against the people holding down Whitestone.

 

In this world, it was just Percy and two people he has grown to care for the most going back to his home.

 

He genuinely liked Vax and Vex, he had truly grown to care deeply for the twins, he appreciated Vax and his quick wit and quicker blades and how much he cared for his sister and how he would always take a risk so others wouldn’t have to. He loved Vax’ildan like a brother. But Vex’ahlia? He loved her so much more, he loved her kind words when he needed it and loved her ability to inspire him to create new contraptions for her arrows and how much she cared for her brother and her bear and now him. If he had more time, he realised, he could truly love her.

 

In this world, they didn’t stand a chance. They didn’t know that at the time, of course, but the weight of the situation and the impossible odds sat heavy on their shoulders, something they were unable to ignore no matter how hard they tried.

 

Sometimes, Percy expected to wake in the night to the twins having abandoned him whilst he slept. Sometimes, Percy expected to turn around as they walked to the twins having disappeared into the shadows. But only sometimes. He knew they wouldn’t leave, he knew the pair of them were the type of people to keep their word, as for much of their life he knew their word is all they had and trust is something they could not afford to break. Even now, that still stands. The twins want a home, and Vex wants to be secure and for Vex security comes with money and the way the word “Lord” rolls off her tongue as she looked at Percy made him willing to offer it to her and more. They all know this, so they stay.

 

The three of them made it into the castle the way Percy got out years before - if the twins noticed how his hands shook when he neared the entrance, they were polite enough to not mention it - thanks to Percy’s memory and the stealth of all three of them. Trinket is left behind, the bear too large and bulky to fit through the narrow passage into the castle, no Keyleth in sight to polymorph him into a smaller creature . For a few minutes they felt like maybe, just maybe they did have a chance after all.

 

In this world, Percy never learnt about Cassandra. He never learnt about his sister in the room upstairs. In this world, the Briarwood’s distraction was worthless as no one came rushing, the three of them too far underground to hear her screams. In this world, the blade draws a thin line across her neck and there was no half-elven rogue there to catch her and pour a healing potion down her throat. In this world, Cassandra de Rolo dies, gasping for air and flesh to heal in her room.

 

In this world, they made it through the acid pit and they made it to the Ziggurat and they were so close they could taste the victory upon their tongues, until it was their own coppery blood they could taste in their mouths.

 

Lord Briarwood got Vax first. His teeth sinking into the exposed flesh on the rogue’s neck and Vax was already so close to death it didn’t take long for his body to go limp in his grasp. Sylas pulled his teeth from Vax’s neck, accompanied by a wet ripping noise that sent shivers down Percy’s spine before Sylas tossed Vax’s body to the side. His head followed mere seconds later.

 

Vex was next, the sight of her brother dying in front of her caused an instinctual guttural scream to escape her mouth, revealing herself where she had been hidden, blood pooling in the side of her armor from previously being at the end of Sylas’ sword and Lady Briarwood took her chance. She turned and pointed a finger towards where Vex stood petrified in shock and pain and then Vex was on the floor, breathing completely stopped.

 

That left Percy, standing between the bodies of the only two members of Vox Machina who had not left him. That left Percy, alone by the end of this world. And as Percy stood, looking at the corpses of his acquaintances - friends? he supposed they were friends - realises as he sees Vex’s body that he really wishes they could’ve been more - by now, dead friends - beneath the house he had grown up in, which he had last seen full of his family's corpses, Sylas moved behind him.

 

There was a sharp pain in Percy’s lower abdomen and he looked down to see an obsidian sword protruding from where his bellybutton was, his blood soaking into his coat and over his hands. His hands, hard and calloused from his metalwork now slick with his own blood.

 

* * *

 

 

In a forest somewhere they had never been before, Keyleth was helping a child make their way back to their village. In a small village off the road, Grog and Scanlan had stopped at a tavern, quenching their thirst and eyeing the local women. In Draconia, Tiberius had his head in a book, frantically writing notes on parchment next to him. In Vasselheim, Pike slept soundly after working diligently to restore the temple of Sarenrae throughout the day. Back in Emon, Gilmore worked and worried about his almost-boyfriend Vax, not knowing the end that he had met and that he would never see him again.

 

And Percy? Percy reached for a healing potion, trying desperately to get it from where it hung around his waist and to his mouth, but he felt a tear as the sword pulled up towards the castle above him, the castle he once called home. The Ziggurat was calm again, the only noises penetrating the silence was the constant dripping of crimson blood on the floor and the shatter of a healing potion as it hit the ground. Then the thud, as another body hit the ground, the noise echoing in a now silent cavern until the silence was broken by the Briarwood’s laughing.

 

In this world, the entire de Rolo family died in Whitestone.

 

In this world, Gilmore waited for Vax to return. His breath catching whenever he heard someone enter his store, his eyes frantically looking for a sign of black hair, pale skin clad against pure black armor, the half smirk of the half elf that Gilmore had grown to love so dearly. In this world, when it inevitably came, Shaun Gilmore was not surprised to learn that Vox Machina - or what had remained of it - had perished in Whitestone. This lack of surprise did not lessen the heartbreak, Gilmore mourned as passionately as he loved, Gilmore mourned Vox Machina - he mourned the loss of a brilliant team, he mourned everything they could’ve been - and he mourned Percival and Vex for the appropriate amount of time. Vax, he mourned until he died.

 

In this world, Tiberius and Keyleth and Grog and Scanlan and Pike were never the wiser, letters being lost kept them from learning the fate of their old team members, until it was too late for them as well.

 

In this world, dragons rained liquid fury upon the earth.

 

Everything in this world burned.

 

 

> _But no. Scratch that out. This is not how it was meant to be. Erase. Rewrite. Time for a do-over._

 


	2. experiment two; cause of failure - overwhelmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's happening again.
> 
> They're together again and everything is slightly different now.
> 
> Only Percival notices

 

> _Cross things out. Replan. Rework. Look at the mistakes you made and try it again._

 

Percy wakes up in the cell and this time, things are different. Things have changed but only Percy seems to realise, only Percy seems to have realised that this is different.. Percy seems to be the only one to remember anything, even if it is just small bits and pieces that come to him in flashes, his dreams he remembers once being plagued by a smoky figure are now full of snippets from before, from watching the others leave and Vax dying and Vex and -

 

This time, he is the rogue, not Vax - he figures it’s the universe’s idea of an ironic joke, that now he can sneak and kill people when they have their guards down, when they least expect it like the Briarwoods - the Briarwoods seem to be a constant - did to his family. This time, Percy deals in shadows and blades not gunshots and words and he is no longer dressed in his rich royal blues and gleaming gold, instead he wears black like smoke, like the smoke that once crawled up his arms.

 

This time, it is Keyleth who wields the gun, his gun - everything is identical to his Pepperbox, except for the different names etched in the side of the barrels. Eventually he learns that the names are of the bandits who took her mother, eventually he learns that she was approached in a dream by an entity of smoke who inspired her to help and get revenge, and he smiles at her sadly - it is Keyleth who is harder now, yet still innately Keyleth in the way she stammers on her words. Keyleth whose hands are scarred and burned and calloused from the process of making the gun and making the ammo, unlike the soft hands she had from the life of a druid.

 

This time, Vax is a bard - he finds his way around words as easy as he did daggers before, and when he tries, his words can cut just as deep as the sharpest of his - or Percy’s now - blades, he is a bard as a way to make money on the streets, his nimble fingers put to work playing delicate  instruments instead of pickpocketing - and he is happier, in a way. Of course he still worries about Vex’ahlia, but he smiles more now, laughs more and he wears lush purples instead of the black that would blend him into the shadows.

 

This time, Pike is a barbarian - he learns she just wanted to be able to protect her grandfather, and those that she loved, she wanted to be able to fight back and not cower and wait for someone to help because she knew a time would come when no one showed - she still swings her mace around like before, but now there is no restrictive heavy armor and, if Percy is being honest, he has never been so intimidated by a gnome in his life, in either of his lives.

 

This time, Scanlan is a druid - he’s not going to lie, this one leaves him puzzled for the longest time, but it slowly makes sense, because all Scanlan really wanted to do was find a real home, leave roots somewhere in the world to grow his life around - who can make the ground dance around him with just a word, can command vines and stone and dirt like they were his own children.

 

This time, Grog is a ranger - he learns that this was out of necessity as his herd abandoned him much younger in this iteration, and he needed to get food for himself somehow and this is what he could find - wielding a bow and arrow, sometimes Percy wonders how the bow doesn’t shatter under the pressure of Grog’s Goliath grip.

 

This time, Vex is a cleric - the twins mother still died in this one, but she died in front of the twins; not from a dragon, and the two of them had been so helpless, so unable to save her that they had taken the guilt as their own and all Vex wanted to do was help people - Vex is in heavy armor and a holy symbol around her neck, no sign of a lumbering bear following behind, no way for her to stealthily climb a tree or take point with her brother who doesn’t take point this time anyway. This Vex does not haggle for every piece of gold she can, this Vex gives spare gold to children she sees on the street.

 

* * *

 

There is no Tiberius this time, and Percy is the only one who notices.

 

“Where’s Tiberius? He should be here too,” he had stuttered out when he first saw the group, his hands clutched the metal bars that separated him from the rest of them, from his friends.

 

“Who?”

 

Oh. Well. That’s not what he expected.

 

“Tiberius Stormwind? From Draconia.” Percy looked frantically for any hint of recognition in their eyes that would show him that he’s not the only one who remembers that this had happened before, but he had found nothing.

 

“Were you close? We could try and find him for you if you would like,” and that was Vex speaking, of course, Vex offering to help and he knew that if this was the first time she would ask him for a few pieces of extra gold - regardless that he gave all of his to her last time - but this time her eyes were soft and her holy symbol glowed where it hung low on her chest and he blushed, thankful for the shadow he was in, and looked back up at her.

 

He inhaled slowly, gathering his thoughts because yes, they were friends once but that was a lifetime ago, before an old woman and an argument and a teleportation circle and -

 

“I guess you could say we were close, yes,” he smiled weakly at the group in front of him, “but there’s no need to go looking for him, he must’ve gotten out himself and I am more than confident he can look after himself.”

 

* * *

 

 

They never get too attached to Emon, they turn down the offer of the Keep and instead they live at the Palace - except for Vax, he stays at Gilmore’s house most days - Gilmore, who this time does not own a store yet he is still the same man he was the last time, this time Vax merely ran into him on the street one day - but they never really live in Emon, the group never make their rooms in the castle their own. Even weeks into their stay there, if someone was to look into the rooms they each had, they would assume the room was occupied by someone who had just gotten there hours before.

 

Once they return from Vasselheim Uriel gives them permission to go to Whitestone without hesitation - aided by Percy revealing his name and telling him exactly what the Briarwood’s had done to his family - and they head off immediately. They don’t look back as they go - Vax stop’s at Gilmore's for a moment, kissing him and telling him not to worry, that he’ll be back when they’re done - they walk out the city, walk past the empty patch of land that Percy know’s as where Greyskull Keep would’ve been - for a moment, Percy wonders where their staff is this time - and they keep walking towards Whitestone.

 

And this time? The Briarwood’s fall. Percy was always one step ahead, but he would explain it off as knowing the area he grew up in, when really it was because he’d seen it before, he’d done this before and he had remembered. This time, Percy puts a burning dagger into Sylas and he turns to a mist, before Scanlan blasts it with sunlight and Sylas Briarwood is no more. A gunshot echoes out from Keyleth’s direction and there is a thump as Delilah Briarwood clutches at her chest, then falls.

 

 

* * *

 

Now this is all uncharted territory for Percy.

 

* * *

 

They all stay in Whitestone - Percy has to help rule Whitestone for a short while, as the last remaining member of the de Rolo family and the others choose to stay with him as they never really lived in Emon. Scanlan sits by the Sun Tree, planting his own metaphorical roots entwined with those of the tree in the centre of the town square. Vex finds purpose helping the surviving townspeople who helped them fight, she tends to wounds and brings parents back from the brink of death in front of their children, she keeps families and skin together and she is so happy. Keyleth works alongside Percy, planning what to do with the castle and how to best rebuild the city and what changes should be made. Grog and Pike hunt, they would leave for a few days at a time and come back dragging wild animals behind them - Pike usually sat on Grog’s shoulders as they travelled - before he would cut them up into rations for each household and anyone who needs more, Grog, who once hunted to keep himself alive, now hunts for others. Vax composes songs about what has transpired here and sings them to the townspeople, he writes G-rated versions for the children and they sit around him as he teaches them slowly how to sing the tunes he has written.

 

Vax writes a letter to Gilmore and sends it off back to Emon, a week and a half later Gilmore arrives in Whitestone and promptly makes himself at home with Vax, accompanying him as he would go around the city. As Vax would inspire those around him with his words, Gilmore would do minor illusions and magic tricks for the children and use his powers to help the cleanup efforts.

 

Percy spends his free time around Vex, and realises that despite the differences she is still the  Vex from before. There is still the same quick wit hidden behind her kind words, and she winks at him once and suddenly to him she is a ranger again and there is a bear behind her and suddenly the coin in his pockets seems too heavy and he wants to hand it all to her and ask her _doesn’t she remember -_

 

This is where they stay, they stay in Whitestone and they make it their own. The group never learns about the dragons attacking Emon, they never hear news of the Chroma Conclave, they don’t know of the danger flying around the land.

 

And that is where their downfall begins.

 

* * *

 

 

They travel, because of course they do, because the group of them itch for adventure and travel and nothing can keep them sated for long. Once they deem Whitestone to be heading down the right path of rebuilding, they head off. They head off for Westruun, to visit Pike’s grandfather, unaware of the shadow of death that circles around to the city every few days, unaware of the dragons taking control of the land they have called home for so long.

 

They are two days out of Whitestone when it happens.

 

They’re walking, Grog and Pike up the front - ranger to guide them, barbarian for defence - with Keyleth following behind them. Behind her is a large bear that is the spitting image of Trinket, but is actually Scanlan and Percy finds it so ironic how it turned out he almost laughed when Scanlan changed form, but he wouldn’t know how to explain why he found it so funny and Vax sits atop the bear. Percy is at the back of the group, with Vex next to him as she fondly watches her brother and his easy smile as they all walk without a care in the world and if she notices that Percy spends a lot of time looking at her, she is too polite to mention it.

 

They are closer this time, bonds stronger than the last time they were together and that much is obvious by the way they interact with each other.

 

Sadly, it’s not enough and this iteration was never destined to make it to Westruun.

 

They hear it before they see it, the horrific screech of a dragon breaks the quiet chatter of their conversation and they turn around and there is acid raining from above them, mere feet away as the dragon passes overhead.

 

In an instant, Vax is dropped to the group as Scanlan is no longer a bear, instead the small gnome has shaped the ground to make a slight dome over them as the dragon circles back towards them and another load of acid is dropped onto the mount of dirt above them and they can hear the sizzling as the ground burns and the acidic smell burns their noses with every breath.

 

They scatter.

 

They split off to run towards the sparse treeline.

 

The dragon, however, beats them to it.

 

There is a ancient dragon in front of them, and nowhere for them to go.

 

There is silence.

 

* * *

 

Then the dragon spits out acid and it coats all of them. Vex brings up her shield in front of herself and Vax instinctively, managing to deflect half of the acid. Grog picks up Pike and holds her close to his body in an attempt to hide her from the worst of it. Keyleth and Percy dive to the ground and cover their heads with their arms. Scanlan attempted to hide behind the dome he had previously crafted, but the previous dose of acid burns a hole through it as the new attack is thrown his way and hits him full force.

 

Scanlan stands up and says he’s fine but from the way his voice shakes and he winces as he calls it out, they know it’s not true at all.

 

Vox Machina, if nothing else, tried their best.

 

Arrows and daggers and spells fly through the air as the group dart and weave, avoiding pools of acid and the claws of the beast in front of them but it wasn’t enough.

 

It is Scanlan who falls first. He’s caught in a breath of acid again and his small figure falls to the ground and doesn’t move again.

 

Vex stands up from where she was healing Percy and runs towards where Scanlan was just as the dragon swipes a claw out and there is almost a moment of reverent silence as they watch a large claw cut into Vex’s midsection through her heavy armor as though it was hot butter through a knife and she falls too.

 

Vax, unsurprisingly, was next to go. He ran full speed towards his sister's’ body and the dragon brought a foot down onto him as he did so, as though he was nothing more than an ant and when the foot is lifted, Vax doesn’t move again.

 

The dragon laughs at this, three of them dead in just a few seconds and as it laughs, he throws his wings out and one of them hits Keyleth and sends her flying, her back makes a cracking impact with a tree and she doesn’t speak or stand up after that.

 

Pike is atop Grog’s shoulders and she is a small ball of pure, unadulterated rage as she recklessly slashes at the underside of the dragon as he fires arrows at it’s tail. The tail that has now whipped around and, like the wing did with Keyleth mere seconds ago, sends them flying. Grog breaks through a tree with the force, Pike brought along and they hit a cluster of rocks and tumble along the ground, unmoving.

 

In this field, surrounded by the bodies of his friends and pools of acid - he is reminded of an underground cavern and a room of acid and Vex and Vax dead next to him and there is a sword in his stomach and this isn’t how it’s meant to be - Percy stands.

 

In this field, Percy dies.

 

With a sick grin, the dragon chuckles to itself and brings its jaws down around Percy, before spitting him out and he rolls, lifeless, into a pool of acid.

 

They never make it to Westruun.

 

It is three days later that a group of refugees find their bodies. It is another week before anyone in Whitestone hears the news of what had happened.

 

 

> _But this is wrong and this isn’t how it is meant to happen. Somewhere, a page is torn out and a new one is started._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i !! love !! role !! changes !!
> 
> not every chapter will be this type of style though!
> 
> ALSO: thank you everyone for the lovely comments and tags on the first chapters :D

**Author's Note:**

> I've been planning and working on this fic for a couple of months now, and since I already have the second chapter almost done I decided to post this now!
> 
> Fic title from Bioshock Infinite


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